Part Two

so, in this passage, Jesus is determined (says so!) to go to Jerusalem, so He tries to say with Samaritans, but they don't want Him, so of course, the sons of thunder, James and John, are like,

"Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?"

that's the other kind of spiritual pride. (i got sidetracked.) that's the crusades of the middle ages. that's the aggressive mentality we can't have as Forgivens. that's something that needs to be overridden. this is a Doctor Who/Earth/People moment. i'll bring that in here, now.

our past is written down permanently. we can't take back words we've said, no matter how much we regret them. we get trampled by our friends and our family and ourselves. we can't undo any of our deeds, good or bad. in the end, we're laced with scars - sometimes, fissures and lesions we don't even know about - and we scrape home, dragging our dirty feet, not even knowing that we're tracking e-coli across our carpet from the pavement outside.

brothers James and John didn't hear themselves. they totally thought they were okay. i mean, sure it sounds good! how many times have we cursed the day that ref was born? how many times have we lambasted someone for being right wing or left wing? how many times have we made snap judgment calls on someone else without knowing the full story? of course, sin is sin, and it's easy to spot in someone else. and, yes - it's probably there. other people can be wrong. you can be wrong.

these guys were truly offended that Jesus wasn't received by the Samaritans. i can see that, sure! but Jesus rebuked them. i'm sure they were shocked that He wasn't on the same wavelength. usually when we say something like that out loud to someone we look up to, we're anticipating affirmation. not this time.

"you do not know what kind of spirit you are of; for the Son of Man did not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them."

and they went on to another village.

these brothers went on to be amazing lovers of God and lovers of mankind. they profoundly influenced the Christian faith. but they started out a little bit rocky - just like everyone else, they had to grow and learn from their mistakes and press on. we are made up of so many layers. hopefully, if you are following Christ, the layers are more and more obviously beautiful.

hopefully, over the course of your life...
rather than pick a fight, you will gently preach the Gospel with love and grace.
rather than disqualify someone's faith, you will build them up in Truth.
your words will be seasoned with Scripture and Scriptural truth.
you will wish only salvation, and no harm to anyone else.
you will reach out fearlessly, but not recklessly.
you will be sensitive, but not compromising.
you will reflect Christ, and not distort His image.
you will be discerning, but not condemning.

i know the Lord seems slow, sometimes. i want so badly to say i am free from looking down on other people, but i'm not. because He has graciously been changing the way i think, i can confidently say that i am doing much better, but i'm not complete.

anyway, at the end of the Bible Study, i was asked to "gauge my heart" for the lost and unbelieving. she writes,

"what would it take to quicken in you an urgency for sharing Christ and grieving over others' souls?"

i feel my heart sink again.

shouldn't i always be grieving for my friends and family who have rejected Christ? shouldn't i always be available, praying, and making the Gospel message clear? if i truly believe that everyone i love who doesn't love the Lord is going to Hell, how can i sleep without trying one more time to throw out a lifeline? after being in a relationship with God for over 20 years, moments of searing clarity have been few and far between. i am alive in Christ. Christ lives in me. i need to be useful. He wants to work through me to save the world.

i earnestly desire that everyone i know be saved from Hell. i know that many of them are already headed there, and they are stubborn. they have rejected Christ like the Samaritans, but do i feel like calling down fire on their heads? i suppose... it's "easy" to look out at a city and see crime and poverty and pain and flagrant sin and say, "wipe 'em out!"...but when you step down into the foxholes and rub shoulders with the ones who are enslaved to vices of the worst kind, can you look into their eyes and earnestly desire their destruction? generalities are necessary evils, but when it comes to salvation, everyone needs to be seen out from beneath that blanket - everyone is someone.

my family and friends are precious to me. they are valuable to me. i love them. i want them with me forever. i want to sweep every single soul up into my arms and kiss them and love them and bring them to Heaven with me, but they have to make that choice.

i want to make it easier by making Christ more visible in my own life and in my own speech.