one new memory

i'm up too late and i'll be kicking myself in the morning more than i am, now.

i simply felt compelled to write something since i haven't in so long. a new update? what's this?!

joel, jack and i have just returned home after a visit to oregon. we spent a couple of days on the coast, admiring the scenery and introducing jack to my good friend, the beautiful sea. he'd already met it before along the california coast, but now he has tasted a mite bit of the truly wild portion of the northern coastal lands.

perhaps one of my most favorite moments of the entire trip took place on our last day. jack had just about had enough of our shenanigans and was sick of traveling; he was fussy and red-eyed, occasionally bursting out in rounds of discontented shrieks before i reached back each time and thumped a pacifier in his sweet little mouth. we were tired, and had just cleared out of cannon beach; we were fixing to go home (to sean and adnama's), but i had been disappointed in our early leave of the ocean, so joel headed our rental suburu north toward seaside.

the sun had finally shaken itself free from a bank of fog and clotted clouds, so it was relatively warm, stirred only by a smooth breeze. we stopped by taco bell (i was hungry!) before sidling down a street opening to the beach. we pulled jack from his warm cocoon of a carseat and lumped our way down across rolling, sandy dunes decorated with fields of long salty grass. we had been aiming for the lonely swings just over the last rise, but they weren't so lonely. a girl had taken up a seat on one and we didn't want to interrupt her, so we ambled a little further until joel spotted a massive chunk of driftwood (read: entire tree swept high onto the shore). it became our picnic spot and in a matter of seconds, we were surrounded by an army of seagulls. only one was bold enough to crowd me while i sat on the tree and joel stood in front of me to block the sun and wind from jack's face (the wee lad was strapped to my body in the moby wrap while i dropped taco bell chips on his head), so joel scared it away about three times, but it continued to flutter noisily back to its place beside me. it squalled and squawked and chirped and mewed at us for food; but, it wasn't until we noticed its injured, gimpy leg that we took pity and fed it the weirdly juicy taco bell meat from some of our tacos. we made sure none of the other seagulls could snatch his meal away from him...which might have been a cruelty in disguise, since the seagull had probably been wounded BECAUSE it trusted humans. :(

what made this memory sweet to me was the presence of my boys. joel stood to shield me and jack from the wind; he was protecting us and looking after us; he was thoroughly enjoying himself with first scaring the seagulls, and then feeding the one. i loved watching him. jack was adorable, and i had the privilege of feeding him on the beach. it felt so beautiful, to be breastfeeding outside in the sunshine and wind, with the clap and crumble of waves crushing the sand just a few yards away. i was so happy in that moment; i felt full. i feel full, now, just remembering that day! the scene is so vibrant in my mind.

and now, off to bed!